In early June I found my cause to phone
And heard her say before the message tone,
“I’ll soon get back to you.” Unsettling choice;
Naive indifference. A recorded voice
The cause for hesitation while on hold
And pause to think back fifteen years ago.
Yes, marveling our compatibility
At first, they made allowances, for we
Were dancing partners. But then gradually,
Obtuse words; talk of need for boundaries
Became their stock in trade. In time a hush
Would greet us. Cups rose to lips; a sudden rush
To beat the black iced roads until she said
‘I’ll stay with friends’. Sharpening attitudes led
In turn to clipped ‘goodnights’ as each car door
Crunched shut, but kinship ties cut open sores
As they prevailed. Yet still an image dwelt.
If now we met I knew I would have felt
That pull from Eglantine. Still always there.
Imprints on a darkening front room. We were
On the sofa after dancing. There she
Faintly smiles. I see her lean against me,
Turn in guile, as was her way; a glance.
That moment ever etched; a shy romance
Which, having met again we might pick up
So easily. I’d hardly touch my cup
But have my fill of close proximity.
What if she said she felt as much with me,
And smiles; her eyes more knowing than before.
And later still again, once at her door?
Then family snaps, slow slipping to the floor
Echoes back our ending. I should no more
Cross that line. Besides; what else dare I win
This June that I should also risk to dim
The brushing of her hair against my arm;
A dusk-lit room. That one consoling charm
For me, when I dream back to Eglantine,
Might not remain, but now displace in time.
Dust tumbled rolling slow, the light oblique.
After the message tone--I did not speak.
That time.

preeti2